Many couples enjoy fantasizing about
having sex with other people, more and more of these
people are deciding to make these fantasies become a
reality, which is great news for the people already
in the scene, as we always enjoy having new people
come and join us. There are of course pitfalls and
there are several things you should consider before
you come and join in the fun.
Don't push or pull your partner into
the scene.
Talk about your fantasies in the
cold light of day, if you both want to make them
become a reality, then start making contact with
people. If either one of you is not ready,
STOP.
Dragging a reluctant partner to
meet another couple, or taking them to a party
is not going to make them change their minds.
There is a very high risk that it will lead to
the end of your relationship with each other.
Decide what your boundaries are.
Don't go along to your first
meeting or party without making sure you have
agreed on what you are happy doing, what you are
happy for your partner to do, and what area's
are no go zones.
For example, maybe you agree
that on your first meeting you will be happy for
both of you to get involved in everything except
full intercourse, as long as you both know what
the boundaries are, and you have told the people
you are meeting what they are you will have no
problems as long as you stick to them.
When you get home that night,
talk about the experience, be it good or bad,
make sure you were both OK with it, and that you
both want to move forward, or you want to stop.
If you are happy and want to
move forward, decide what changes, if any, you
want to make to the rules under which you both
play. Never step outside your boundaries without
agreement, don't try to modify the boundaries on
the evening, always start the evening knowing
exactly what is and is not allowed.
I have seen people get divorced
because they did not keep to their agreements.
Never fall in love!
Swinging is about having fun
with other people. Most of these people are in
happy relationships and are looking for sex, not
love. Declaring your love for someone is going
to complicate the issues, and put strains on
everyone's relationships, you could even destroy
the other persons marriage.
If you are looking for love
check one of the many lonely hearts sites.
First steps
Decide on which fantasy you want
to fulfil first - meet a couple, meet a single
guy, meet a single girl or go to a party.
Each of the above has a
different degree of difficulty, I will now list
them in ease of arranging
This is by far the easiest
meeting for a couple to arrange. There are a
huge number of single guys who are happy to be
in a three some situation. There are several
ways to meet a single guy, the most reliable are
to browse the men seeking couples ads, or to
place your own ad. If you place an ad make sure
you explain the type of person you are looking
for, your boundaries, where you are, where you
can travel, if you want to meet at their
location, your location or a neutral place.
Couples placing an ad to meet a
single guy on a reputable swingers site can
expect up to 400 responses a day! of course most
of these will be people who do not meet what you
are looking for. You will need to put aside time
to respond to the emails, even if just to say
sorry, no thanks.
There are many parties held
every weekend in most large towns and cities,
swingers clubs are often open 6 or 7 nights a
week.
Before you go to a party or to a
club, read all the information you can about the
event to ensure that they cater for new comers,
or for your tastes. Some venues have different
kinds of parties on different nights, so make
sure you are aware of the type of party you will
be going to.
-
Couples only - pretty self
explanatory, there will only be other
couples at the party. (many "couples only"
parties also allow single ladies to attend)
-
Couples and singles -
usually a few couples and many single guys,
occasionally a few single girls.
-
Greedy girls - up to about 6
girls and as many as 75 men.
-
Spa's - much like greedy
girls parties, though most have a couples
only area where you can get some respite.
Party and club etiquette is that
if you say "No" to someone they must leave you
alone. If they do not, complain to the
management.
This option is almost as easy,
but you now have 4 people, all of whom will have
to be happy with the other pair, be patient and
look for people you are both happy with. Expect
some knock backs, just because you fancy a
couple, and each other, it does not follow that
the couple will fancy both of you!
After you have made contact via
email, and it looks as though the four of you
may have enough in common to meet. Arrange to
talk on the phone. This is an important step, as
you will need to weed out single guys pretending
to be couples and husbands (and occasionally
wives) who are trying to pull their partner
along by making arrangements. When you make the
arrangement use a mobile number, or you could
end up with unwanted calls to your home number.
You must make sure that all 4 of you talk, do
not accept excuses that the partner is late home
from work, putting the kids to bed, nursing a
dying mother or shagging the local football
team, if you cannot talk to them, they probably
do not exist, or are not aware of the situation.
By far the most difficult to
achieve. There are many single girls in the
scene, but as they are more fussy than single
males, they tend to be more elusive and
exclusive. Many are in long tem friendships with
couples. It is not uncommon for couples to
search for years without finding a single girl
to join them.
You and your partner both find
each other attractive, but not everyone else
will, single girls will be more choosy and will
need to find both of you attractive.
Whoever you are going to meet
remember that although its scary, the other people
will be as nervous as you. Don't get drunk or
drugged up. No once fancies people who are not in
control of their faculties. A drink to steady the
nerves is OK, bouncing off the walls and throwing up
is not going to impress anyone.